Category Archives: One Word: Meraki

Those Troublesome Apologies

Over the past couple weeks we witnessed a well-known celebrity make terrible attempts to “apologise” for something she had written towards a another woman on social media. This celebrity had become comfortable over the past few decades with making degrading comments that were sexist (towards men and women), racist, anti-Jewish, anti-Islamic, and anti-Christian. She also had a habit of posting fake news about political issues she didn’t support and trash talking about Americans who were working hard to survive in a currently hostile America. No one was guaranteed to be spared from her malignant comments in the media. Eventually someone with the power to make this woman pay expensive and creative consequences for her actions did so.

I’ll refer to this celebrity as Mean Marri. When Mean Marri realized her consequences were real and costly she did what so many do when they can’t accept that they have done something truly wrong to another person. Marri gave a weak and insincere apology and when she saw that it wasn’t working she became angrier and defense. She then moved on to making up ridiculous and impossible reasons for why she had written such a mean post about another woman.

Reading over Marri’s supporters comments about the incident, I realised there are people who don’t know what is involved in an apology. I found Marri’s post to be stomach turning and her response to the backlash left myself and others further upset with her. If your apology is not sincere or you don’t believe you have something to apologise for, then please, in the name of integrity, don’t apologise. A fake meaningless apology only adds fuel to the fire and is insultive to the person(s) you are “apologising” to. It means you think the offended is foolish enough to believe you.

God has not called us to make false apologies. We are always welcomed to come before him with the truth about our wrongs, “For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me” (Psalm 51:3); he already knows in advance what we have done. Once we have come before God we can approach another with a sincere apology and desire to repair what has been broken. This can be done only if contact will not cause emotional or physical harm or be a threat to people’s safety.

Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective” James 5:16

The beauty of the relationship between an apology and forgiveness is the emotional healing that takes place either individually or between all parities involved. God is a healer, he offers us grace and forgiveness so that we in turn can apologise to those we have hurt and those who have been hurt can forgive us.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

Apologises aren’t there for the purpose of saving one’s reputation, peacemaking, keeping one’s job, avoiding a lawsuit, gaining a personal advantage, or for any selfish motives. Apologies are spiritual, and they are there to humble us, help us grow, bring about self-awareness, and draw us closer to God and people.

If you have wronged another person or have been accused of wronging someone and are having a difficult time apologising, bring the situation to God. He will reveal to you what you have done wrong and if you are open to his spiritual correction you can work towards rectifying the situation in a healthy manner.


Not everyone knows what is involved in an apology and why apologies are important in a civil society. Here are some links below to articles and videos that can help you with offering or accepting an apology (Click the titles):

How To Apologize: Asking for Forgiveness Gracefully

How To Apologize: The 7 Steps of a Sincere Apology

How To Apologize: 5 Elements of a Successful I’m Sorry

 

 

Comfort and Clutter: Spring Cleaning is About Values

Spring Cleaning Time

 

Since Easter Monday I have been decluttering each day. This is my version of spring cleaning.

There are a lot of YouTube videos and blog articles on the topic of minimalism. I always tell people that you don’t have to be a minimalist to get useful information, tips, and advice from minimalists. Minimalism isn’t for me at this time, but I seek out information from minimalists because they don’t just show you how to declutter; their approach removing things from your space involves looking at reasons why you have a difficult time getting rid of items, why you purchase certain things, and why excess of anything (material goods, food, physical space, etc.) is a part of your life.

By the time I ended my first day of mass decluttering I ended up getting rid of 35 books. Some of these books had been a part of my life since 2005, some, for less than a month. I also threw away two standard recycle bags full of paper (research and journal articles) that I had used over the years to write various papers for my graduate courses. As I sat down and looked at these bags I wondered why I had kept these books and papers; what a waste of much needed space. My bookshelves and paper piles were not messy, instead, they were neatly ordered by topic and area of research. Sometimes having a tidy space gives the impression that because everything is neat and orderly, it somehow has a purpose; it gives the false impression that it belongs in the home.

 

Here are three great values that I have learned from minimalists in the past week. I highly recommend seeking out information from different types of minimalists for when you are ready to declutter, spring clean, go shopping, or make lifestyle changes about the material goods you want to keep as part of your life.

 

1.

Find what works for you.  Everyone has a different motivation, goal, or style.  Figure out what yours is, and stick to it. For me, the results were my motivation. The thought of walking into a clutter-free home where everything had its place and was hand-selected because it brought me joy, was very appealing.” Tania McDonald from, Thefinancialdiet.com

http://thefinancialdiet.com/6-realistic-ways-to-practice-minimalism-that-dont-suck/

2.

“No matter what your conviction is about living with less, just know that it doesn’t have to look any one way. One of the most beautiful aspects of a minimalistic lifestyle is that you can shape it however you like. Items other people need may not be items you need. The role stuff plays in our lives is solely based on the needs of the owner.” Melanie and Jeremy Scroggins from Winnebago Life

https://winnebagolife.com/2017/11/a-realistic-view-of-minimalism

3.

“Decorations. Many of the decorations in our homes hold no personal value to our lives. They just simply happened to match the color of the carpet or be on sale when we walked into the store. Unfortunately, they are distracting you and your guests from the decorations in your home that share your story and highlight your values. Take a moment to walk through your home with a discerning eye. Leave only the decorations that are the most meaningful and the most beautiful. Your home will begin to share your story in a beautiful way. And your old decorations will likely end up on sale at your next garage sale.” Joshua Becker from Becoming Minimalist

https://www.becomingminimalist.com/sample-living-with-less/

Hate Doing Dishes

My Blog: New Year, New Name

 

I decided that for 2018 I would change the name of my blog from God, Faith, & Fitness to Feathers for Your Journey.

When I started this blog four years ago my interests were in losing weight, becoming healthier, and doing so while integrating my faith. After a short amount of time I realized I didn’t enjoy writing about fitness or weight loss, but for whatever reason I kept going and with each passing year I contributed less   posts to this blog.

In 2017 I was happy to go an entire year for the first time in several years without having to go for physical therapy, my pain remained, but it had decreased significantly, and I managed to lose some weight and keep it off (so far). I think 2017 was more successful for me in this area because I didn’t focus on weight loss, food, exercise. I turned to meditation and mindfulness and I believe this helped significantly.

I kept daily reminders to eat healthy posted within sight (in my day planner, on my phone), I was mindful of what I was eating, and regular (not strenuous) physical activity was based on things I enjoy. I decided I wanted my blog to focus on life, learning, and goals without being too narrow and specific.

I discovered the word ‘novaturient’ today; it is when you desire or seek powerful changes in your life, your behaviour, or situation. I learned that I lived in a novaturient manner during 2017. I listed the things I wanted to change, achieve, and eliminate for that year. The best that we can do in life is live with intention without being so goal oriented that you prevent yourself from being flexible. There will be times when your goals have to be altered, eliminated, or put on the back burner for a while.

There is another word I recently learned, it is ‘meraki’ [mey-rah-kee]; it means to do something with creativity, soul, or love. It is the act of putting a part of yourself into whatever it is you are doing.  I realized by the end of 2017 that I had lived with novaturient and meraki in my life. Not everything went as planned, but I was able to grow from unexpected changes and opportunities because I did things with meraki.

Three weeks into 2018 and time feels like it has flown by quickly. I won’t encourage you to make new year’s resolutions; I don’t believe in them. However, I will encourage you to live intentionally this year.

What values are most important to you?

What are your goals and desires?

Who are the kind of people you want closest to you? Who are those you want to spend most of your time with outside of work?

What does money and material items mean to you and how important are both of these in your life?

These are questions we can ask our self any time throughout the year. It’s important to check in with ourselves regularly not only during holidays, birthdays, and tragedies.

However you choose to live in 2018, I wish you all a year filled with pleasant surprises, blessings, spiritual growth, and success.