Tag Archives: Faith

Theology

Take Care in Giving Advice

Making the Most of Conflicting Advice From Mentors

This morning I was reading Mark 5: 21-43. It’s the story about Jesus tending to the deceased daughter of a synagogue leader named Jairus and another story about a woman who is healed by touching the the garment of Jesus.

These are stories of Jesus’ miracles that I have read many times, but after this most recent reading I realized how much bad advice and instructions the disciples and others gave Jesus. Thank goodness Jesus knew what his purpose was and was fully aware of the power of God.

When Jesus was on his way to Jairus’ house some people informed him that the daughter had died and not to bother the father. Jesus didn’t listen, instead he knew that they were upset and experiencing grief, anger, and disappointment. Instead of accepting defeat and going away, he continued on and entered Jarius’ home to find everyone crying and distraught.
When it came time to heal the daughter Jesus kicked those who were laughing at him out of the home. With only his selected disciples and the parents of the young girl in the room Jesus healed her.

When Jesus had been on the way to Jairus’ house he was interrupted by a woman’s actions. We find the disciples giving Jesus bad advice when he asks in a crowded space, “Who touched my clothes?” His disciples give the side eye and remind him he’s asking a ridiculous question considering all the people pressed up upon him.

The woman, realizing she had been healed by her faith after touching the hem of Jesus’ garment speaks up and he tells her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go and be in peace from your suffering.”

Had Jesus listened to those around him, neither of the miracles would have taken place. Those whose faith turned to doubt weren’t trying to hurt anyone with their words, they were being somewhat realistic. But what I think we can learn from these two incidents is that giving advice that seems realistic, but is rooted in a lack of faith is not good for others.

Before giving advice to others ask yourself:

Is what I’m going to say rooted in my own personal insecurity, doubts, and fears?
If so, remember: spread faith not fear.

Were you asked for advice?
Sometimes it’s alright to give unsolicited advice, but before doing so ask yourself if it’s the right time and the right situation for doing so. Also avoid giving advice about something you are not knowledgeable about.

Did you pray about it?
If the situation is quite serious and could have grave effects on a person’s life bring it before God in prayer. Ask God what to say, how to say it, and when to say it. Giving advice is not something we do in our own strength.

Be open to the other person’s response.
Not everyone accepts advice even when they’ve asked for it. Be prepared for what you have to say being rejected or ignored. You’ve done your part and leave it at that. You can’t force someone to do something they don’t want to do, no matter how much you care.

Acknowledge when you are wrong.
There are times when we have given bad advice. This is why we need to be careful with advice giving. If you have done so acknowledge that you were wrong, and when necessary apologize. You can’t take back what you have said and done, but you can always make amends.

Let’s not be like the disciples and the doubters who almost blocked the miracles and blessings from God with our unnecessary and unasked for advice.


Goals

Sacrifice-Mother Teresa

Sacrifice:

“The act of giving up something that you want to keep especially in order to get or do something else or to help someone” or “An act of killing a person or animal in a religious ceremony as an offering to please a god.” (Source: Webster’s Dictionary)

Thankfully, I’ve only experienced one of those two definitions for sacrifice. I’ll let you guess which one J.

The topic of sacrifice has been on my mind a lot these days. Lately I also seem to be having frequent conversations about sacrifice and achievements. I’m both saddened and surprised by the number of people I encounter who don’t seem to understand the concept of making sacrifices in order to do what you have to do in order to get what you want or need.

I’ve had to make many costly sacrifices in order to fulfill what I believe to be my calling in life. I’ve sacrificed my desire to live a lone without the frustration of having roommates. I’ve sacrificed having great paying jobs in order to work for non-profit organizations where I get to do what I love. I’ve sacrificed having nice brand named items in order to keep afloat financially. There was a time when I was filled with anger and regret about many of my choices in life; but thankfully through much reflection and meditation over the years, I’ve learned that sacrifices are never wasted.

People who have goals, a calling, and a mission in life know and accept that sacrifice is part of the journey. Achievements will always require sacrifice; some will be small, others will be major. As I type these words, I want to give you a message of hope by telling you that your sacrifices are never in vain. They are not random, pointless, useless; they are important.

I noticed these key words in Webster’s Dictionary’s definition of sacrifice, “…giving up something that you want to keep…”. Sacrifices are difficult because we are required to give up something that we don’t want to. We are placed in a position of now verses later. The question being asked of us is, “Will you give up this in order to achieve that?”. It’s not an easy decision sometimes, but your willingness and ability to give up something against your own wishes means two things, a) you’re serious about what you need to do; b) you have your priorities in order.

I wish I could say I am great at making sacrifices, but that would be a bold lie. I suck at decision making when my emotions are involved. Giving up my wants for the unknown takes me out of my comfort zone, but I’ve learned that sacrifices are always for the better. We are not sacrificing something in order to make life worse for our self or others.

sacrifice and values

I know from experience how difficult sacrifices can be, so I’ll share with you the most important lesson I’ve learned, “Let it go.”. The harder and longer you hold on to something physically, emotionally, and mentally, the more difficult it is to move forward. If I hadn’t spent so much time grieving, and being bitter about whatever it is that I had to give up, I probably would have had more happiness, joy, and energy for the things I was making sacrifices for.

Being broke for years while I worked full-time and paid my tuition for graduate courses would have been a much easier process had I not spent those years crying about living in cramped, moldy smelling basement suites. Instead of gratitude, I was miserable. I hated my job, I hated where I lived, and I hated not being able to socialize because I had no money to do so or needed to stay home and tend to school work. An attitude of sacrifice would have allowed me to see that I was giving up something I wanted in the present for something that would better my life in the future. In other words, I forgot to enjoy the journey.

Let “it”, whatever “it” is, go. Grieve briefly and move on to what ever it is that will take you closer to where you are meant to be. Trust the process, trust God.

“…but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31

 

 

 

Theology

Passionate Social Media Posts: Did Jesus Really Say That?

Thankful for November

I couldn’t believe I hadn’t made a blog post since September 2015. October 19th is when we had our federal election for a new Prime Minster of Canada. We had a long election campaign filled with hate mongering, optimistic promises, and difficult voting dilemmas. I wasn’t allowed to post political preferences on social media and I’m thankful for that. It kept me from reacting and responding to the many political posts that filled Facebook.

Politics can bring out the best and the worst in our behaviours. Political hot topics reveal a lot about who we are and what we believe. Having to remain silent about political matters during the campaign taught me a lot about remaining outwardly calm and respectful when interacting with others who hold opposite values and beliefs than I do. Internally I didn’t do as well, but I’m alright with that; I wasn’t interested in censoring my thoughts, just my words.

I have a better understanding of why Jesus didn’t spend time entertaining political debates; it’s sometimes a waste of time. By not debating or having discussions with people of opposing views, I was able to conserve some much needed energy. I was slowed down for most of October with terrible migraines. Instead of going back and forth with someone whose mind I cannot change and vice versa, I used that time and energy for things that decreased my stress levels, prevented the worsening of my migraine, and brought me happiness. I would encourage other believers to use their energy for things other than political debates and arguments. Know when a debate or discuss is healthy and when it’s not.

During one of the nastiest election campaigns that I’ve ever seen in my lifetime, or at least that I can remember, some of the worst behaviour and beliefs came from self-professed Evangelical Christians. Their beliefs didn’t surprise me because I’ve been part of an Evangelical church for my entire adult life, but it was a surprise to others who were not familiar with Evangelical fundamentalist beliefs and values.

What I’d like to say to politically passionate Christians is this: Please remember that you do not represent the beliefs and values of Christ when you write posts on social media that are rooted in fear, misinformation, hatred, and meanness.

omg Becky, look!

A simple way to control yourself is to ask this question: Would I post this on Jesus’ Facebook page or Twitter account? Sounds silly, but it has stopped me on many occasions from posting reactive comments. Thank goodness for the delete button, because it has saved me from leaving some of my most stupid posts on peoples Facebook pages.

 

Ahead in November:

I’m currently in the midst of writing the advent series that I will be posting during Advent from November 29 – December 24, 2015.

I’ll also be posting part 2 of Jesus the Introvert on Sunday. I’ve been reading a lot about the spiritual nature of the introvert and I look forward to sharing what I’ve learned with readers.

The remaining two posts will be about health and fitness. I’ve be writing about some awesome Christians who have experienced more depth in their faith as a result of embracing a dedication to their personal health and fitness.

 

Happy November!

 

 

 

Theology

Theology, Justice, and Church Authority: Stay Strong in Your Faith

Because I Said So

 

I believe in respecting the leadership of pastoral staff, but because I attend a fundamentalist church, there are times when I have had to pause, bite my tongue, and let my thoughts be just that – thoughts. There are also other times when my thoughts can no longer be contained and I let pastoral staff or a leader know, “Oh noooo, that is not alright”. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does…

I recently had some theological differences with a group of pastors at my home church. I was told that I “consistently challenge pastor’s authority”. I was both sad and happy to have this accusation made against me. I was sad because this group of fundamentalist pastors interpreted and experienced what I knew to be a theological discussion as “challenging authority”. On the other hand I was simultaneously happy because I make no apologies for my theological stance and I speak up when necessary.

My life experiences differ greatly from the life experiences of the pastors who lead at my church. I’ve attended this church for around 18 years and the staff demographics haven’t changed at all. I could leave and find a new church to attend, but I don’t live in a city with a lot of diversity and this is very much reflected in the eerily homogenous pastoral leadership staffed across varying denominations in my city.

There was a time when I struggled with deciding if my theological beliefs were worth standing up for. Was it worth it to be branded a heretic by certain pastors and other believers who couldn’t wrap their minds around things I would say during bible studies and conversations about faith? Was it worth it to be gossiped about by staff as they warned others about what they referred to as my “questionable theology”.

The writer of Titus wrote an entire letter about being faithful in submitting to authority, being obedient to subordinates, and maintaining sound teaching. The second half of the letter displays the author’s dislike for theological debates when he warns believers to, “…avoid stupid controversies, genealogies, dissensions, and quarrels about the law, for they are unprofitable and worthless” (Titus 3:9).

Is this why these pastors at my church tried to silence me? Were my concerns “unprofitable and worthless”?

I realized the theological discussions I tried to engage in with my pastors proved to be unprofitable, but certainly not worthless. My concerns were not worthless because I believe in the things that God has taught us to care about; justice which is carried out by caring for the poor, the marginalized, those emotionally hurt and damaged by the church, women and other issues highlighted in the bible. My theology is not worthless, it is rooted in recognizing the things which both God and Jesus despised: discrimination, sexism, taking advantage of the disadvantaged, using the name of Christ to bring harm to others, and many other atrocities which are listed in the bible from the Hebrew Scriptures straight through to the gospels where Jesus showed us what it looks like to live a justice focused life infused by the guidance of God’s Holy Spirit.

pulpit bully pastors

Disagreements as Growth:

Sometimes you need to take a stand and speak out against faulty biblical teachings. Check the scriptures, pay attention to the context of the passages, use academic tools to learn more, and most importantly pray about the topic before you speak up about your concerns regarding faulty teachings. It’s also important to know when to remain silent. Choose your battles wisely. We are not always going to read and understand scripture in the same way; human variables have a strong influence on how we understand scripture. Know which things need to be addressed and which ones can be left alone.

When we engage in uncomfortable theological discussions or debates we strengthen our faith and expand our knowledge. If you only listen to yourself and others who think exactly as you do, how will you ever know if you are correct or in error. Hot tempered, ego filled arguments, are the types of interactions that never lead to any good and are not rooted in the fruits of the spirit. Learning to engage and listen helps us develop respect for others, patience, grace, and awareness of others’ experiences and beliefs.

be a leader

If you are a pastor or hold a lay leadership position, engaging with those who differ from you can teach you humbleness. Some of my pastors and other men of higher positions in community ministry have boldly used the word ‘authority’ to silence and control me. When that word is used, it usually occurs when they become visibly uncomfortable with having to dialogue with me after they realize that I am making points that are valid, factual, biblical, academic, include lived experiences, and other things that make for a proper argument. Great leaders are those who never stop learning. As Christians one never stops learning. The Holy Spirit doesn’t stop giving us wisdom, correction, and guidance; it is only us as humans who choose to quiet the work of the Spirit.

As a graduate student I was required to build a solid theological base. As students we developed our beliefs from academic rigour and spiritual experiences rooted in our relationship with God.  I wasn’t able to bring myself to settle exclusively for one type of theological system or methodology, but I am heavily influenced by a group of intersecting theologies: Feminist Theology (I’m not what people would consider a feminist, but I like certain types of feminist theological methodologies), Postcolonial theology, and Practical theology.

It’s not my theological studies that have lead me to take a stand against the misleading and sometimes harmful teachings of my pastoral staff, it is my belief in God and the powerful words found clearly in scripture that let me know that I cannot remain silent about my concerns.

appeal to authority

You don’t need a graduate level education to know when something doesn’t sit right within you. When the small quiet voice of your conscience grows louder and louder and moves from your gut to your head and then back again until it ignites a passion in you; don’t ignore it. Be brave, be confident in the Lord, and do something. Speak, pray, help, walk away, whatever it is that you feel prompted to do. You are guaranteed to be hurt by others, betrayed, ignored, challenged, and segregated, but remember who is with you as always; he experienced the same thing too while speaking the truth of our Father.

Peace be to you as you walk in faith and justice.