Tag Archives: family

God Before Family Always


Choose Healthier Snacks for Children

This is a strong blog post title and a strong statement, but it is something I believe in strongly. I don’t apply this to those who are under age. When you are still a child, then you are under your parents control and should do as you are told to do. I have never believed that God holds children accountable for the sins parents place upon them.

I came to accept this belief during a life changing a-ha moment. If I remember correctly, this occurred while I was reading Luke 14: 25-35 when I was a student sometime around my first year in college. For the first time as an adult I sensed the possibility of freedom from destructive generational habits and sins that had strongly affected my ancestors and myself. In reading this passage I had learned the opposite of what I had been taught in church; I was in fact free to not have to give into sinful or unhealthy behaviours influenced by generational familial sin. YES! THANK YOU LORD FOR THIS BLESSING!

The idea of putting God before your family is still a concept and biblical truth that is difficult for some Christians to accept. There are many people who can and will quote scriptures about listening and doing what your parents tell you to do. I always tell people that those scriptures only apply if your parents and family members are guiding you in God’s truth. If your family is helping to lead you away from what God has commanded or steering you away from the individual calling He has placed on your life, there are no excuses: God. Before. Family. Always!

One area that I have firmly chosen not to follow in my family footsteps is health and wellness. I am overweight and despite my 30 pound weight loss in 2015, I am still in the obese category. I have an obese mother who at 5’1 was a size 18 and weighed over 200 pounds when I was in junior high and high school. She weighs less than that now due to diabetes, but she is still medically obese. I remember my mother being in denial about her weight.  As a teenager I explained to her that our doctors’ scale was fine, and that our doctor was not lying about what the scale reported.

The Klumps: Family Obesity

Growing up I had a very unhealthy diet and it continued into adulthood before serious health problems and surgery forced me to alter my eating habits and food choices. I fell for the misconception that being fat or obese was genetic. If my mother was obese, well, that is why I was obese. A lack of proper information about weight control allowed me to believe I couldn’t help but be obese.

It’s easy for us to convince ourselves that we can’t become healthier because of our family habits, but as I wrote in the opening paragraph, only children are under their parents control. If you are an adult, you no longer have to follow the family tradition of eating unhealthy foods, living in the bondage of eating disorders and disordered eating, or living an inactive lifestyle.

A New Look At What Family Really Is

If your spouse doesn’t want to exercise, oh well, exercise on your own. You don’t have to have second and third helpings of fatty foods and dessert just because your grandmother put the food in front of you. We are taught that food is love, but another way to show love is to respect the boundaries of others. If your family loves you they will respect your desire to not eat in excess. Some relatives will be upset with you, they might be insulted that you only wanted a tiny amount of the food they cooked, and yes, they might even gossip about you to others regarding your eating style, but these are possibilities you will have to accept with strength if they do occur.

You might be family, but you are the one living in your skin, living in your body. If your family is not going to care about your health, then it is up to you to love yourself enough to care about your own self.

Self care is healthcare.

QUESTIONS: Does your family have unhealthy habits that you’ve noticed? Are there family or generational habits that you need to cease in YOUR OWN life?

ACTION: Pray over your family, for the Holy Spirit to work through everyone and for an end to any unhealthy habits that have developed in your family. If you are in the midst of developing a healthier lifestyle but lack the support of your family, pray that they will become an encouragement to you. If you have any anger, bitterness, or jealousy towards relatives, ask God to soften your heart enough to extend forgiveness, understanding, and grace towards those who don’t support you and those who refuse to change. prayer for conflict resolution

The Blessing of Crazy Family Members: Jesus Style

cray-cray for J.C. :)
cray-cray for J.C. 🙂









My One Word for 2014: Blessing

a(1) :  strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties <e.g. maternal love for a child>

(Webster’s Dictionary, one of many definitions)

Biblical love is hard! Love often asks, “What’s in it for me?” This is not a result of being evil or a bad person; this is simply how it is because we are human and to love as Jesus did really does require some divine DNA.

When I read the gospels, I shake my head in amazement at knowing that Jesus still went to the cross for humankind simply because he loved us enough to offer himself up as a living sacrifice. Think about it. There was nothing for Jesus to gain personally by being a living sacrifice. Absolutely nothing. Jesus spent his short time on earth having to deal with bickering disciples who were more concerned about who was going to be first in this new concept of the afterlife. He still headed to the cross knowing fully well that his best friends would at one point desert him. He loved his family even though his cousin John was like, “Whoa, cuz, you are saying some strange things and acting really weird. This is not what our Pharisee family teaches and practices. Are you for real or are you just out of your mind?” (Matthew 11:2-6) and (Mark 2:18).

Jesus still loved his mother, brothers and sisters when they came to get their reportedly crazy family member (Mark 3: 31-35). They came to look after him, and Jesus made it clear to his audience, “You are all my family.” I’m sure this had to have left his siblings and mother hurt, confused, and worried. I wouldn’t doubt it if they thought, “Yeshua, are you rejecting us. We are your family. How can you refuse to come home with us and choose instead to stay with these strangers? We are your family. We love you and only want to take care of you.”

I look at the documented dynamics of Jesus’ family members and I realise that love asks questions. As a family we are going to ask questions, we are not likely to sit by in silence wondering what our whacky, lost, wandering, confused relatives are doing with their life. Having observed this, I also came to accept that there will be times when we have to be that crazy family member who follows their dreams, passions and divine calling. In order to love God there are going to be times when we are in disagreement with our families.

Jesus made it clear that he did not come to bring peace. There is no way that following God is going to bring peace within families. There is sometimes that tug of war between wanting to do what God has asked us to do verses what our family is asking us to do. I am a firm supporter of adult children choosing their own way of life over their families’ decisions. Are you an adult? Then that means making your own decisions using wisdom, knowledge, experience, and hopefully, a bit of common sense.

Can you imagine what would have happened if Jesus threw in the towel and listened to his cousin John by following the Pharisee traditions? What would have happened if Jesus left with his mother and sisters so they could tend to the care of his mental state? The story of a saviour who died and rose again out of love for the human race might not have ever been. Instead we would have the story of a crazy man who failed miserably at trying to shake up the religious establishment and as a result retreated to his parents’ home for the rest of his life.

Duck family values
Duck family values

All I can say is dear families, please be careful not to stand in the way of that family member who feels a divine calling to pursue a particular path in life or take on a task that God has anointed he/she to fulfill. Like Jesus’ family, you are likely intervening out of love for that person, however, that love becomes unhealthy when you become a barrier and a hindrance to someone fulfilling a calling. If you love God and you love that relative, then in the name of love, stand back and let that person be.

Love means trusting God’s work in the lives of those you care about even if you don’t understand the calling they’ve received. That calling is for them and not for you, so it is going to be alright if God hasn’t given you all the details and the vision.  Show your godly love by lifting up prayers for that person, assist that person with whatever tangible help they might need, and if you don’t desire to do either of these, then show your godly love by stepping out of God’s way and let Him do His work through your loved one.


1. Are you being a barrier to a loved one’s divine calling?

2. Have you ever had a Christian family member negatively intervene in your walk of faith?


1a. Prayerfully ask God to reveal to you if you have been or are currently a barrier to your loved one’s walk of faith? Ask God to reveal to you how you can step out of His way in order to support your family member?

2a. If this intervention is a source of emotional hurt in your life, ask God to open that family members’ eyes and heart; also ask God to continue to heal your emotional wound. Release that hurt to God for healing.


Source: rockstarposters.com
Source: rockstarposters.com