Tag Archives: patience

Shortcuts, and Getting Lost in Life

 

I think we can all admit that we’ve made some unwise decisions in our lives due to impatience. We want something and we want it sooner than later. We don’t want to take longer than we think it should take to get somewhere in life, be it a physical destination or a goal.

This weekend I learned about the story of the Donner Family, also known as the Donner Party. This was a group of approximately 90 American pioneers in 1846 who were to make their way from Illinois west to California. At one point during the journey brothers Jacob and George Donner decided to not follow the already established, tried and true path west, but instead decided to follow a supposedly new and shorter trail established by a man named Lansford Hastings. Let’s just say the shorter path ended up not being quicker, in fact, it didn’t even exist.

Image result for donner party

During the journey the emigrants discovered the path had not even been cleared; instead it was all dense bush and rocks. Travelling with a caravan of children, women, and men of different ages, along with animals, and personal belongings made the trek even more difficult. To say the journey was filled with failure is an understatement.

Due to heavy snowfall the travelling party eventually became trapped in the Sierra Nevada, unable to proceed further due to the weather. Unprepared for the harsh winter they experienced hypothermia and eventually ran out of food.

Members of the Donner Party eventually turned to survival cannibalism due to near starvation; some turned to murder; and others experienced trauma due to the death of their spouses and children. Eventually some members of the party were rescued when the weather allowed a group of men to form a search party. Apparently roughly half of the party survived long enough to be rescued, the majority of them being children.

I share this extreme story of what can happen when we make decisions to take unnecessary short cuts to show the lengths some of us could be willing to go even if it meant risking our safety and well-being. It’s easy to look at the Donner Party and question how they could be so foolish and careless, but I’m confident we can all search through our past and find our own versions of impatient decisions which lead from one thing to another until regret, embarrassment, anger, and shame took over.

Image result for going in circles

Major areas in life where we are heavily tempted to take shortcuts:

Money. Be ware of risky habits such as gambling, buying lottery tickets if you can’t afford them, signing up to be an multi-level-marketing (MLM) rep if you can’t afford the start up costs and don’t have a large network to sell to, borrowing money from friends for things you don’t need, and using credit cards for unnecessary big ticket items instead of saving money.

Friendships. Making friends as an adult takes a lot longer than it does when you are in high school or college. Solid adult friendships take time. Avoid the mistake of thinking that frequently hanging out with people leads to meaningful friendships, it doesn’t most of the time. It might take years to build long lasting friendships with people you can trust, depend on, and genuinely care about, but it’s worth it.

Goals. Whatever your goal is, the way to achieve them is to commit to the work of daily discipline, learning, failing forward, sacrifice, and prioritizing. We look around and see successful people in person and on social media. What can easily be forgotten is how long it can take to become knowledgeable in your field and develop the skills that will keep you successful for the long run. People who take shortcuts to success are often people who have cheated others, stepped on people, fought a nasty fight to the top, and deceived someone somewhere. You want your goals to be achieved with integrity, honesty, hard work, and ethics.

Whenever you are tempted to take shortcuts in life remember this verse from Proverbs 21:5:

Good planning and hard work lead to prosperity, but hasty shortcuts lead to poverty.

 

Life Lessons Learned from Indoor Gardening Failures

Gardens are beautiful. I’m fortunate to live in a neighbourhood where people spend a lot of time and money on vegetable and flower gardens, and landscaping.

This year I decided I wanted to decorate my place with some small, easy to care indoor plants. I did my homework by going online and finding a list of the easiest indoor greenery to care for. I read all the lists, followed all the instructions and then it happened, half my plants nearly died.

I had imagined my sofa table filled with a colourful assortment of flowering plants that would require minimal care and never die. Between inquiring of Google and asking seasoned gardeners I learned why those plants were dying and I was failing; I was handling flowering plants the way I sometimes handle life.

Hawaii Greens
Somewhere in Hawaii 

Impatience: Gardening requires patience. To begin, you seed, water, fertilize, repeat as needed. I wasn’t interested in that, instead I went to the store and purchased plants that were ready to go. The downside to this is that my impatience meant I wasn’t able to get the exact plants I wanted. Had I been patient, I would have taken the time to start with seeds and follow the process of tend and wait, watch it grow!

Ask yourself: In life, when you are patient, you are more likely to get the things you want. Being in a rush and taking whatever you can get instantly means settling for second best if you’re lucky. Are you willing to put in the time, discipline, and effort to get what you want?

Miniature Japanese Zen Garden
Someone’s miniature Japanese zen garden, unfortunately not mine 😦

Over caring and worrying: Water is life and death. I my case, water became a near death experience for the plants. I sometimes anxiously watered the plants every second day. I checked on the plants every day to make sure they were alright, as if they were inpatients. Eventually two of my plants started to develop curling leaves. I later learned that this is caused by overwatering. The remedy for this problem was to not water them for two weeks. It wasn’t easy switching from overwatering and over caring to practically leaving the plants alone to repair itself naturally. With time, and without me messing with it, both plants came back to life and flourished, growing taller than ever.

Ask Yourself: Am I willing to follow the process whatever it might involve or are you going to want to do things your own way?  When you are a beginner it’s important to listen to those with much more experience and knowledge. When you don’t, things are likely to go wrong.

Buying Too Much and Spending Too Much Money: I set a budget for how much I would spend buying flowers and succulents. What I didn’t account for is that some of these plants would grow and need to be placed in larger pots. I also didn’t consider how much it would all add up to for different types of soil, tools, fertilizers, planters and plant pots. When the costs became more than I was wiling to spend, I decided to say goodbye to some of my plants. They were requiring time I didn’t have, and money I didn’t care to spend.

In the past my hobbies cost me a lot of money. I made the decision a couple of years ago not to engage in hobbies or interests that would require me to spend more than a certain amount of money per month.

Ask yourself: When considering taking up a new hobby, consider the cost; is it affordable for you and it is a good investment of your money, energy, and time?
Starting new hobbies are great, there is nothing wrong with trying new things in life, however, it’s best to prepare before hand when necessary. I don’t want to be a negative Nancy, my hope for you is that your new hobby is a pleasant experience instead of one filled with unnecessary surprises and stress. Don’t forget, hobbies are meant to bring happiness and fulfillment to a person’s life.

 

Psalm 19:1 The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

Job 12: 7-10 “But ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you; or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, or let the fish in the sea inform you. Which of all these does not know that the hand of the LORD has done this? In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind.”

 

 

Step-Step-Fall!

 

Guess which one I'm not!
Guess which one I’m not!

I’ve been exercising to lose weight while trying not to aggravate a knee injury and an injury to my right arm. This has been a frustrating process for me because I’ve made patience my life long enemy. I’m one of those persons who wants to lose all 105 pounds NOW! I’ve lost the weight before (98 pounds) and I didn’t hesitate to beat my body up in order to do so. This time around I didn’t want to make the same mistake. I wanted to treat my body as the gift that God has given me. I wanted to take care of myself and the only way to do so was by including God in my health and wellness plan.

This past week I got that itch, the one where I get anxious and I no longer want to be slow and steady. Who wants to be a tortoise when you can be a cheetah? Determined, I added more training days, increased my speed and tackled those steep hills. Bad idea. Two days later my knee pain had gotten progressively worse. Every step was painful, especially going down the stairs. I was no dashing cheetah, I was more like road kill.

As I laid around with my iced knee I realised that my spiritual transformation has been much like my physical training habits. I become frustrated and anxious about the slow and steady pace of change. It’s as if I am in a hurry to get to where I think I need to be, but God continuously reminds me through my injuries that healthy transformation is never a fast process. Instant change is never long lasting and only leads to being hurt further down the road.

God isn’t rushing us in our transformation, so why do we hurry ourselves and others. Why do we have this false belief that authentic change is rapid?

God is patient!
God is patient!

God isn’t slow, He is continuously working on us and with us. He clearly sees the changes that take place daily, the one’s that we often count as insignificant. He doesn’t want His children rushing the process only to see us falter and quit later on, battered, bruised, and living with a nagging emotional injury for the rest of our lives. I realised, slow process is God’s way of protecting us from the problems that come with too-much-too-fast.

WORDS OF WISDOM:

“If I have not the patience of my Saviour with the souls who grow slowly; if I know little of travail (a sharp and painful thing) till Christ be fully formed in them, then I know nothing of Calvary love.”  ~ Amy Carmichael

Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them– every day begin the task anew.”  ~ Francis de Sales
Trust in the LORD. God is not static, He is always moving forward and so are we even when we falter.

I injured myself because I couldn’t be grateful enough for the accomplishments I had achieved so far.  Let’s not be a hindrance to our physical transformation by trying to bypass the slow and steady progress required for achieving our goals.

 

R U a winner?
R U a winner?