Tag Archives: work

Judging without Judging

Life live to the fullest!

The title, it doesn’t sound quite right. Judging without judging others, how is that possible, is that even possible? Sounds almost like an oxymoron.

Over the past few weeks I had been trying to figure out how to deal with a very powerful peer who happens to be a highly judgmental, self-serving, vindictive, and bitter person (this description sounds judgmental, doesn’t it?). It has gotten to the point where a conversation couldn’t be had without her tearing down other women who work in our industry. It was an earful of listening to nasty comments about how these other women dress, what their husbands look like, silly gossip, and fantasies of taking her opponents down in the cruelest manner.

If this was a friend rather than an industry peer, keeping my distance would be easy. Speaking to her about the behaviour described earlier is out of the question. I have seen firsthand what has happened to those who have dared to do so; it wasn’t pretty. Unfortunately, I live in a mid-sized city and it is difficult to entirely avoid people who are in the same career field as you. Everyone knows somebody who knows someone. In the end I decided to forfeit having her as part of my career sphere of influence.

The Lessons

What I have been learning is that when you are close to a peer(s) and you distance yourself from these people who are emotionally toxic yet powerful and well connected, it makes more labour for you in terms of networking, getting connected with just the right people, learning the ropes, and having your work known by others; but in the end it is worth it.

Not having that powerful and seasoned professional by your side to give you the ins and outs of a cutthroat industry makes the struggle even harder, but I was alright with this, my personal values were more important.

If your career-based circle of associates requires that you cut others down, eliminate your competition with dishonest words or actions; and your emerging business plan includes a social media smear campaign against people you (or they) don’t like; take a pass, this is necessary. Your mentors and those who are part of your career circle heavily influence your behaviour, values, and personal work ethic.

Ask yourself, “what part of who I am as a person is being sacrificed in order to stay within this career based inner circle”?

Is the sacrifice and trade-off your…?

  • personal values
  • unnecessary time away from your family
  • money that you don’t have to spare
  • integrity and honesty
  • healthy character traits
  • long-time friendships (healthy ones)
  • your faith/religion
  • keeping up shallow and superficial appearances
  • constant emotional and mental fatigue that isn’t directly related to the production of your work
  • abandoning your own dreams or personal goals in order to people-please
  • decrease in quality of your own work

Count the costs, not just short-term, but long term as well. It can be difficult to set boundaries with people who have direct influence on your work, reputation, and income, but I encourage you to find a way to create a healthy distance between yourself and industry peers who have a spirit of spitefulness, revenge, pettiness, and exclusion. The slower path to career fulfillment will leave you with a clearer conscience knowing your achievements were obtained without having to sabotage peers, belittle the work of others, or step all over people.

When you take the more laborious and often longer path, do so because the other option was not a part of who you are as a person, nor who you aspire to become. Recognize that people who thrive from their toxic behviour are often personally scared and insecure, and might even have developed such ways of living due to past trauma. But remember, it is not your problem to deal with. Be willing to operate in a different way without seeing yourself as better than anyone else or allowing bitterness and self-doubt to permeate your mind and your work. This is how you “judge without judging”.




The Blessing of: Bad Job Interviews

Job search


One Word 365

My One Word for 2014: Blessing

The Blessing of a failed Job Interview

Doing a job search can either bring gladness or sadness. There are a variety of reasons why people have to enter into a job search. For myself, this has been a time of searching for a job that will place me on a proper path to my chosen career. It hasn’t been easy, as I have an injury that continued to derail me from being able to find appropriate employment. I finally found some occupations that can accommodate my injury and not exasperate my symptoms.

What I’ve learned in preparing for this round of job searching, is that looking for a suitable job requires knowing a lot about yourself. You need to know about your likes/dislikes, your skills, interests, what you value in the workplace, and what you feel you area worth financially. Figuring this all out for myself required a lot of self-inventory and looking  at my employment history.

Being forced to find a new job or begin a new career path doesn’t always have to be an unpleasant process. The job search process is a great time to do some self-analysis and discover again or possibly for the first time what you want out of life and your career.

I had two jobs interviews this week for positions that I really wanted. I would have been happy to be offered either position. Getting either of these jobs were a long shot. Being contacted for an interview was a major surprise.

At the end of one of the interviews they offered me feedback. I wasn’t prepared for what they had said. They told me my interview was excellent, but my resume was really bad. This is not good news when you are interviewing for a career advisor position. I thanked them for their suggestions and let them know I agreed with them 100%. I had a bad resume. It was created for me by a resume writer who narrowed my resume from two pages to one. In doing so, there was a lot of vital information that was taken out.

I can’t help but consider this a blessing. Some people would have been crushed by this feedback, but I see it as a helpful incident. The critique I received will prevent me from sending out mediocre resumes. By opening ourselves to feedback from others we increase our chances for success in whatever it is that we are pursuing.

I believe that God places people onto our path to provide us with the information we need for staying on track with our goals. If we are receptive to the information and feedback that people give us, it will keep us moving in the right direction. Let’s be open to those whom we might only encounter once in our lifetime, their message is as valuable as if it had been received from a loved one.   

I don’t know where my job search is going to lead me, but I do know that when we don’t get a job that we want, it is not a loss, it is an opportunity to keep searching for a better employer-employee match.

Source: Catholic Online
Source: Catholic Online


The Blessing of Content

One Word 2014: BLESSING

Content \kən-ˈtent\: “Pleased and satisfied. Not needing more”; “A state of satisfaction”; “In a state of peaceful happiness”.

Complacent \kəm-ˈplā-sənt\: “Satisfied with how things are and not wanting to change them”; “marked by self-satisfaction especially when accompanied by unawareness of actual dangers or deficiencies”.

I was with a group of Christians the other day and I couldn’t help but notice, or at least interpret that Christians seem to be uncomfortable with the experience of being content. I wondered if this had to do with a possible misunderstanding of the difference between content and complacency. I kept hearing these words and phrases being tossed around, “God’s calling”, “God’s will”, “Where God leads me”, “I don’t know what to do, it’s up to God.” When I hear these statements used in circumstances where people really should be able to articulate their wants, needs and desires, I see this as decision making avoidance. It can become a default habit of “leaving it up to God” when we don’t want to take action and make a decision.

Don’t get me wrong, I strongly believe that our own personal plans need to take a back seat to God’s will and His plans, but I think this is only necessary once He reveals this to you. I wish nothing more than for Christians to embrace the idea and reality that God is not insulted or angry when we are happy, at peace, and content. I have a dream career goal that involves fulfilling my passions and using the skills and employment experience that I’ve gained over the past two decades. At this time in my life I am content with my decision to pursue this career. I see no reason to sit around with spiritual paralysis while dumping my decision making responsibilities onto God.

If I can encourage those of you who have a career that you like and enjoy; don’t feel like you need to stir things up and start looking elsewhere. Why feel guilty for having a fulfilling and rewarding job. Career contentment is a blessing. I remember the “cafeteria lady” at my college, she was a constantly happy woman. She brought smiles and laughter to a variety of students. She served us with care. When you allow yourself to embrace the happiness and peace that comes along with liking your job, it creates a wonderful disposition. The workplace is one of the major causes of depression in North America, so I say, if you like your job, don’t hesitate to give God praise and enjoy the peace of contentment. You can worry about the spiritual nudge to move into another job or career when the Holy Spirit comes calling.

This attachment link is a prayer for the those in the workplace (I personally think it’s also applicable to homemakers and the retired) http://work4christ.wordpress.com/2013/05/30/a-prayer-for-the-workplace/

For those who feel a call to move on to a different job or career, here is a link to a prayer for you as well http://blessthework.com/prayers-for-your-career.html


Do you give God praise for your career/job? Are you retired, have you given God thanks and praise for the jobs/careers that provided for yourself and your family?

Are you in the habit of avoiding decision making and planning by “leaving it up to God”?


In your head, on paper, in your journal, where ever you would like; list 5 things about your job/career/retirement/homemaker duties that you want to give a Blessing (praise) to God for.